Can't Wait
by kia-johns32
Summary: Ashley and Spencer are best friends, but maybe that's not enough? It's a Spashley classic.
1. Introduction

_Hey Guys, this is another of my fics from another site. I never finished it there so I thought I would repost some chapters here and then just continue writing it because I like it so much. I hope you guys do too!_

**Introduction**

I'm sitting on her front step. I've been sitting on her front step for two hours now, and I think that I'm starting to lose my cool. My palms are all sweaty and I can feel my heart rumbling inside my chest. It's like it wants to break through my rib cage, tear from my body, and run screaming down the block. That's how afraid I am. That is what she does to me.

A couple of times I imagine that I wrench open her front door, race up the flight of stairs to her room, and pull her into the best kiss that I've never had in my life. One time I even slammed her against the wall so that she could feel how much I wanted her, how much I loved her.

But then, of course, I remember who I am, and who she is and the fact that she's my best friend and she's going on a date tonight with someone who isn't me. I remember that she's not in love with me. I remember that I'm sitting on her front step like a cowardly dog.

Somewhere around love confession attempt number two, the door creaks open behind me. I freeze, not sure what to think, but then I'm pummeled by the familiar smell of strawberries and Spencer, my favorite smell.

"You're late," she whispers into my ear, kneeling down and wrapping two arms around me. She places her head on my shoulder and then puts two legs on either side of me, settling down on the step behind me. "I was worried about you," she says in the same soft voice and I'm too busy smelling her and loving her arms around me to listen. "Earth to Ashley," she says jokingly and I nudge her with the back of my head, releasing a nervous laugh.

"Sorry. My Mom made me do some last minute chores," I lie, and she plucks my ear with her finger.

"Liar. I called your Mom an hour ago and she said you were gone."

"Oh," I say absently and she doesn't say anything for a while. She just settles into me, her head finding a comfortable position on my shoulder, her breaths warm on my neck. I bite my lip to keep from shuddering. After a moment, she reaches forward and pushes a few strands of hair behind my ear.

"Ash what's happening to us?" she asks in a guarded voice and I can feel how tense she is. She's really worried. But I can't lie to her. She's my friend. She's my best friend.

"I don't know Spence," I say sadly and she just snuggles into my neck.

She really has no idea. None whatsoever. Because if she did, she wouldn't be doing this, being all close to me and touching me. She wouldn't think it all meant nothing. If she knew, I'd see something on her eyes. Something that shines just for me. Something that tells me she feels the same way.

"Ash look at me," she says pulling away, and I immediately miss her touch.

"Huh?" I ask dumbly, even though I heard exactly what she said.

"Look at me dufus," she says again with a nervous laugh, and she tugs a few of the curls in the back of my head. I laugh too and then turn around and meet those blue orbs for the millionth time in my life. It feels just like it always does, like I'm falling and I never want to stop. And unexpected smile creeps onto my face and I giggle nervously, looking way.

"There. I looked at you," I say turning back around and she just sighs.

I don't know what to make of how Spencer's being right now so I square my shoulders and try to focus on the sidewalk and the street ahead of us. But then she's nestled into my neck again and my stomach is spinning like a tornado.

"I don't want anyone to ever look at me the way you do," she says seriously, and I know better than to take it as an insult. I just lift my shoulders a bit to tell her that I understand and she sigh again, her breaths beading against my skin.

"Chris will be here in an hour," I say, but she doesn't move. She just stays there and I don't have the guts to move her. I'm too far gone. I love this too much.

"I know," she answers and then slowly, as if she doesn't want to, she stands, pulling me up by my shoulders. She grabs my left hand and intertwines our fingers. "C'mon. Let's go pick out my dress," she says wearily, and I understand that she doesn't want to go. That's the easy part. The question is why not? Why doesn't she want to go? And why all of a sudden am I feeling like we're closer than we've been in four years right now, in this very moment? Why do I feel like she knows? "Ash, C'mon" she pleads and I look up at her, realizing that I've been standing in the same spot for the past few seconds. She's watching me with big, frightened eyes, so I smile just to make her feel better. It does. She smiles right back and starts to drag me up the first step.

"Just promise me one thing," I say jokingly.

"What?" she replies.

"Promise you won't kiss him on the first date." I say quickly, closing my eyes from embarrassment as I say it. But Spencer doesn't even look back. She just laughs and her shoulders rise and fall like they always do. She keeps walking. "Promise," I say again in a louder voice and this time she turns to look at me. The light on the stair is out and I can't see her face at all, but in the strangest voice she answers, "Okay."

My heart stops for a second, but then she turns away and we're at the top of the stairs.

"So should I go with red or black..." she begins, disappearing into her doorway.

I take a deep breath, and prepare myself for the worse, or should I just say...the usual.


	2. Chapter One

_Hey there! Two posts in one day, and if you guys like it I'll post more tomorrow!_

**Chapter One**

So she went out on the date with Chris and it "wasn't horrible". I'm not angry or anything. I'm just pissed. Pissed that she even went on the date. Pissed that I care. And extremely pissed that I don't know the exact definition of the phrase "wasn't horrible". It's not in any of the dictionaries around my house.

But like I said...I'm not angry or anything. Not one bit.

"Earth to Ashley..." Spencer says waving her hands wildly. She's been saying this a lot lately. "God what are you like the newly crowned queen of spacing out?" she asks, flipping absently through her calculus textbook.

"I wasn't spacing out," I reply, burrowing further into my textbook. She's sitting on the floor, resting her back against my bed. I'm on the other side of the room, sprawled across my sofa.

"Like hell you weren't," Spencer says shooting me a glare. "You've been spacing out for the past few weeks. What's up with you?"

I just shrug my shoulders and begin the next problem. I trace an angle onto my graph paper and try to ignore her staring. It's really hard though. My pencil starts to shake in my hand. I try to steady it but then the point breaks. "Shit," I mutter to myself and then I begin I grope on the ground around me for a pen, but there's none there.

"You left it on the bed," Spencer says, still watching me. I don't respond. I just stand and walk over to the bed. She's right. My pencil is resting right behind her head. I reach for it, but before I can grab it, Spencer grabs my wrist and pulls me to the floor. Suddenly I'm on my back and she's straddling me, looking right into my eyes. My breath catches in my throat.

"Spence let me go," I say, wriggling beneath her, but she doesn't move. She just keeps looking at me with those deep blue eyes. I look away. This is way too uncomfortable. She's my best friend and she's on top of me and all that I can think about is how much I want to kiss her. "Off Spence..." I say breathlessly and she just pushes my hands above my head, holding them there.

"I'm not moving until you tell me what's wrong," she says sternly and I just close my eyes. I always do this when I don't want to talk or when I'm afraid. "Ashley open your eyes. We're not fifteen anymore and we're not watching Friday the 13th. Tell me something."

I just shake my head. It's not really a yes or a no. It's more of one of those in between shakes where you're head goes up and off to the side. Spencer leans in closer and I can suddenly feel her breath on my face.

"Please?" she says in a soft voice and I can feel myself crumbling inside. She's breaking me apart. "I just...I want us to be okay."

"We are okay," I say with my eyes still closed. My stomach is spinning out of control right now and the heat coming off of her body is probably going straight to my face. I hope she can't see my blush. There is a moment of silence and then she sighs, releasing my hands, but she doesn't move yet. She's still hovering above my face.

"Is this about Chris?" she asks and my eyes shoot open.

"No! No! What? Chris has nothing to do with this..." I say trailing off nervously. She probably knows everything now. Spence hates when I lie.

"Whatever Ashley," she says sliding off of me and she just grabs her textbook, like she wasn't just on top of me, like I wasn't just about to profess my undying love for her and paint it all across my bedroom with her body. "Let me know when you're ready to really talk," she mutters scribbling an angle onto her graph paper. I just grab my pencil and return to the sofa, not looking at her. I can't. I'm feeling a million things at once and all I want is for her not to be mad at me. I want to tell her the truth and then drag her into my arms and never let her go. I want to tell her the truth.

But I can't do that. So I say the next best thing.

"You want to just sleep over tonight?" I ask chancing a glance at her. She's not smiling. She's just looking right into my eyes. I smile some and she looks away immediately. I don't have to see her smile to know that its' there. I know Spencer.

"Good," I say answering my own question.

After dinner that night, Spencer and I are up in my room just listening to music. She's playing "Start All Over" by Miley Cyrus and she's jumping around the room like a five year old. I just doodle in my sketch book, only looking up at her every few moments to giggle to myself. After the song has played five times in a row she stops dancing and just sort of rocks to the music, watching me.

I keep doodling.

"C'mon Ash," she says putting her hand out.

"No way.

"C'mon you never dance with me," she whines with a pout and I just shake it off.

"No way," I repeat adding a few shades to her eyes in my sketch. I always have trouble getting them right. They're never full enough. She pushes a few strands of golden hair behind her ears and tilts her head to the side adorably.

"Pwease Ash," she whines, and I just roll my eyes. There is no way I can deny that face. As soon as my feet hit the floor her hands are in mine, and she pulls me up, twirling me around and around. I can barely see the room around us, only her face and her hair and her smile all spinning together. I throw my head back and sing along to the music.

_Out of the fire and into the fire again.__  
__You make me want to forget and,__  
__Start all over.__  
__Here I come,__  
__Straight out of my mind, or worse,__  
__Another chance to get burned,__  
__And start all over.__  
__I'm gonna start all over._

I start to throw my head from side to side and I can't see anything beyond my curls. They are thrashing all over the place and when the drums kick in I just leap into the air like I'm crazy. I land in a guitar pose and began to play maniacally, jumping on one foot and move from left to right. I'm so into it that when I look up, Spencer has stopped dancing. She's just staring at me with her mouth wide open and her face is beet red. Then suddenly I hear someone clear their throat behind me. I turn around to find both my parents staring at me with their jaws unhinged.

"What?" I squeak out, but before any of them can do anything, Spencer bursts with laughter. I don't look over at her because I'm way too embarrassed, but my parents are chuckling too, so I just look at the floor. I stomp back over to the bed and grab my sketch pad, drawing a line through Spencer's picture and then tossing the book at her. She steps out of its path, but her chuckles subside some. She puts two hands on her stomach as if she might burst.

"I'm sorry Ash," she chokes out. "It's just...I've never seen you dance before...EVER." She falls into another fit of laughter.

"Honestly honey neither have we," my mother adds from the doorway and I just glare in her direction. She takes this as a sign and starts to pull the door closed. My dad's jaw is still plastered to the floor. "Have a good night girls," my mom adds as the door snaps shut.

"God I wish I had that on camera," Spencer says clasping onto the bed. I just crawl in next to her and grumble. "Oh come on Ash it was priceless," she says putting her head in my lap and looking up at me. I just pout some more. "You're so cute when you surprise me," she adds running a hand down my cheek and I freeze. My skin is tingling where she just touched me and my eyes are still glued to hers. We're just staring and I'm falling deeper ad deeper by the second. "Let's make a deal," she says never looking away. I just nod, glancing at her lips. "We're gonna be honest with each other no matter what."

"Okay," I reply, drooling by now.

"No matter what Ash."

"Okay."

Then I finally look back up at her eyes and they're different. They're big and worried and guilty. I sit up straight, seeing her thinking deeply about something.

"Starting now?" I ask, and she nods. "Deal," I finish. I look away then because I'm preparing myself for whatever is next. I can tell by how she's not breathing that she's about t tell me something big. I'm not even sure I want to here it.

"Ashley?"

"Yeah Spence?" I ask staring off into space. She nestles deeper into my lap and I still don't look down at her.

"I kissed Chris."

I inhale sharply but then remember that she's right beneath me, watching my every move. "That's okay Spence. I don't expect you to do everything that I say-"

"And he's my boyfriend," she adds quickly and my jaw literally crashes to the floor. I think every bone inside my body is screaming and she reaches for my face again but I back away from her touch.

"I'm gonna go to bed," I whisper.


End file.
